Listen to Sermon
Pastor Tom Johnson, September 10, 2017
After worship, people will sometimes tell me, “Pastor, your sermon seemed directed right at me!” Usually that is a favorable response. But I doubt anyone would want to feel that a sermon entitled “Church Conflict” is directed at them. I seriously considered putting a full length mirror in front so that I can look into my own eyes and preach to myself. This is Paul’s advice to Timothy when he says, “Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Tim 4:16). Please don’t feel like I’m directing this sermon at you. Know that I am, as I am to myself, and to everyone who is open to the words of Jesus. Our text from Matthew 18 is the path forward to loving, trusting, harmonious, and joyful relationships.
Ken Sande, author of the classic book The Peacemaker says one thing is for sure: conflict happens. It happens in every church. But, he says, “Conflict is always an opportunity to glorify God.” Because on this side of eternity, we are still sinners—every one of us, that is to be sure. The Body of Christ is also very diverse. We often have very different ideas and opinions. Have you ever noticed that? And so Jesus anticipates conflict in his beautiful bride, the Church. He gives practical advice on how to move forward in peace toward reconciliation: “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.”
Step one: go directly to that person in private. Do not triangulate and complicate things by gossip. Give that person an opportunity to explain themselves and ask for their repentance in a way that makes them feel safe and not cornered. And before you go running into the storm of conflict, consider whether or not the offense is truly sin. Is it a misunderstanding? Is it two personalities colliding? Could it be that the grimace on his face was not out of contempt for you but because he just took a big gulp of icee freeze? Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is a glory to overlook an offense.” Not every hill is worth battling over. The only hill worth dying on is Calvary. And Christ already went there and gave his life for the world. If we choose to point out a person’s fault, Jesus tells us to do so when the two are alone. Such wisdom! It’s a teaching moment. How would you want to be shown your faults? Publicly in humiliation? I doubt that. We are to love as we would want to be loved. The Golden Rule leads us to protect our and their reputation. And Jesus says our goal is to regain or to win that sister or brother. We do not enter conflict to win an argument; we do so in order to win a friend in Christ. Conflict should be a safe place where we do not fear attack but can humbly face our own failures, brokenness, and sin in the comfort of genuine Christian love. Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Conflict glorifies God when it builds trust, love, and our Christian family.
Jesus says step two is to bring along one or two others. Both parties benefit from accountability. We can all learn about how to proceed more in love and be reconciled. Think about the type of person to bring along. The person to bring along is not someone who will take sides. It should be someone who has the maturity to listen non-judgmentally, prayerfully, and whose joy it would be to see two made whole. If that does not work, take it to the church. This may be going to the pastor, the elders, or the church council. The stakes get higher. And hopefully that will soften a person’s heart enough to begin to search the archives of their own soul.
The last step is the best: if they still refuse to listen, “treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Does this mean we treat them with xenophobia? Contempt? Excommunicate them? No. This is the punchline of one of Jesus’ best jokes! Who is a tax collector in the Gospel of Matthew? Matthew! How did Jesus treat him? With patience and love. And how did Jesus treat the non-Jews? He challenged prejudice and racism. He came to give his life for the world. So, what does it mean? Treat the unrepentant person as a mission field. Sometimes we need to go back to basics. We need to make sure we understand the Gospel. It is what Scripture calls the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5).
And let me say something about the power of humor—good humor. It builds others up, it does not tear people down. It gives us permission to laugh at ourselves and not take things or ourselves so seriously when we do not need to. The joy comes in knowing just how ridiculous and outrageous God’s love is for us sinners.
And that is it. It is all about understanding the Gospel: Christ came for sinners. I am a sinner. You are a sinner. We all need forgiveness. We need acceptance and love. God forgives us. And so we should forgive as we have been forgiven. Church is not a weekly convention of the perfect. We join Jesus as first responders in the storm of sin. Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” He promises his presence in the midst of conflict. He is there to ensure that the Gospel works. We will be reconciled. He will get the glory.
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